Clankert C. Glitchbach Doesn't Talk In Twisted Tongues or Mince Words

Today, I made my usual midday endeavor of sorting the clouds into a list of tiered rankings based on how menacing they looked to me (congratulations to the one shaped like a screaming priapism, you win S-Class Tier for today, for sure! Come back again tomorrow and see if you can be beat!)

On my way back to the cave, I met someone new. No, it wasn't a person and it wasn't Flyman (who has begun trying to catch the kisses I blow him and I think the attempts are earnest) They're a little robot. I don't think it's a boy or a girl. It's just a them, I'm pretty sure. No wee-wee or hoo-hoo to be seen on them. Someone must have cobbled them together from the rusted-out corpses of forgotten technology, because their face is an old iPad screen. It looks like it was already shattered and flickering with broken static when they put it onto their neck. The rest of them? A chaos of wires, gears, and repurposed junk really. Part of them is even an old toaster oven. They're stitched together in a way that shouldn’t function but somehow they function regardless of what the world thinks of them. I’m not sure what the little they’s name is, but I think I might call them Clanky McGlitchface, because what else am I supposed to? They do not seem to comprehend English at all even a little bit.

They followed me all the way back to the cave. I didn't tell them they could and I didn't tell them they couldn't. This place---this time---this dimension---whatever and wherever Clankson Glitchybob and I are, it's a place of free will. I've spoken to them but they haven't spoken back to me, and I guess that's okay. I do like the sound of my own voice and they don't interrupt like a people would interrupt you. Robots are helpful that way. I wish they could talk though...it’s lonely here. I suppose I could try talking to Flyman, but let’s be real---if Clantron 5000 doesn't speak English, there’s no way Flyman does. And even if he did, I'm pretty sure my head would melt if I ever heard his voice. I just know it would. Call it an instinct. It’s probably too much. Too wet, too deep, too buzzy, too ancient. Clanktot, though? Clankgoo seems like their voice will be pretty harmless if they ever do try to speak. Maybe I can teach them Morse code. Maybe they can teach me whatever language it is that they speak?

Maybe I’ll go fully feral and just start talking to rocks and the bones that I've got piled up in the dark part of the cave I refer to as my jigsaw puzzle room because I plan to one day put them back together the way I found them if I get bored enough.

Either way, I think I have a roommate now.



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